Saturday, April 20, 2013

I don't wanna

Ever have a "I don't wanna" day? Well that's me today. Other than making breakfast for the kiddos (eggs, bacon, grits, sausage biscuits, and fruit), folding two loads of clothes, ironing Noah's pants for work, and organizing my tiny kitchen cabinets so I could fit my new Cool Fry Daddy in (I know y'all are jealous!)  I've been worthless. 

Knowing I SO need to get up clean something, exercise, and possibly prepare dinner, but I think I like the comfort of my bed more than my motivation to do any of the above.  My mind is so full of thoughts. Thoughts of friends who are hurting, injured, dealing with death and family moving hours away.  My oldest daughter is moving to DC soon and I'm very excited for her.  I was planning to travel with her to find her apartment but something out of my control prevented that and I was very disappointed.  I am very proud of her, her accomplishments and how she is so fearless.  Fearless enough to move away from family, her job, and the state she has called home all her life. I will miss her terribly but missing her is nothing new. I do that daily. There's something about distance that does that to a mom. Whether across the room, across town, across the state, or now across several states that draws my heart to missing her. So today I will think of all the kisses, the "holds you mama, holds you", the hand holding, her cuddling with me, the smiles, the sun that shines from her face, those deep blue eyes, and I will draw a deep breath and know that I am so blessed to be her mom. She's my ever since... 

Ever since you I have never been the same,
ever since you I never knew the capacity to love,
ever since you our lives changed forever. 

Now that I've had my mama moment, I will work to get motivated. Besides Dylan is begging me to let him drive. So I'm prying my body up and finishing this day. 

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