Wednesday, May 22, 2013

A Mother's Heart

The countless prayers of peace, praying they make good friends, praying they are making the right choice when pressured, prayers of please don't let them live in unforgiveness,  regret or in shame,  prayers that they are being polite, courteous, having a calm and undisturbed mind. Prayers of oh lord, I'm not sure if I've done enough, taught enough, prayed enough. The prayers of Lord please let them not be controlled or ruled by their emotions. Praying they respond in love and not overact with an overspill of ugly humanness. The Oh Lord, did I act like you when they made the wrong choice, when they disobeyed? Lord I pray I handled that right. Did they see my love, did they see Grace, did they see forgiveness so they could do the same? 

I've learned that regardless the path they take, the mistakes they make, the people they hurt, or when they hurt themselves, the times of being mean, mouthy, disobedient, ungrateful, regardless if they are in church every Sunday, & Wednesday nights whether we do weekly devotions, whether we pray with everything in us, and whether we are doing all the right things. Ultimately it's their choices, it's their consequences, it's their decision to make the right choice or the wrong one. But it's God who brings them right where He wants them. I can't do it. I would never be able to lecture enough to change them. God uses all the things they've said, all the decisions they've made, all the mistakes they made, all the people they hurt and all the people who have hurt them. God uses those circumstances, those people, and those decisions to refine, to polish, to love them right where He wants them. God has a plan. 

So I am not tossed to and fro, by the ups and downs of being a mother. My heart loves, my heart gives, my heart disciplines, my heart prays, my heart offers grace, my heart offers forgiveness and my heart stands on the promises God has spoken over my children.  I will stand against all the powers of the enemy and I claim what is mine. No I can't fix any of it for them, I can't undo the mistakes they made or will make, I can't bully them into doing right, but I can love the mess out of them while they are finding their way. I will stand on the Word of God for them until they can see it for themselves. 

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