Finding myself in the place of the unknown. Not sure some days how to even breathe. I know there has been moments I've stopped. Wondering how did we get here and what got us to this place? Was there something differently we could have done? I'm trusting the years of praying for protection from all the lies believed and from the voice that gets the most attention will somehow reach to the core. Watching as this path of destruction is being walked, my thoughts sink into all the what if's. I'm left with a hole trying to decide if it's possible for God to fill it. He's done it before but this time is different. I realize I've been here before just a different lifetime and different roles.
I know God is able but we've got to be willing. How do you tell your heart to stop hurting but yet to breathe in the same breath? Seems impossible.
How do you walk it out trusting God yet pleading in every step? How do you offer tough love and truly walk it out when God has given Mother's an unlimited supply of grace. Where is that line and how do you tell your heart you can't cross it?
So I wait. I trust. I work to breathe one breath at a time & take one day at a time. I've learned I must stay in today & tell my what if's to pipe down. God loves more than we ever could. God see's our struggle and our pain. He is faithful and just to complete everything He has started.
So today I wait. I trust. And I'm learning how to breathe again.